simplicity;

Sunday, May 08, 2005
hectic..

hmm.. the past few days have been really hectic.. both physically punishing and mentally exhausting.. these few day have left deep memories in me..

thursday:
had my english paper.. didnt have time to finish my compo.. hahax.. talk abt it kinda stupid.. i spent half an hour of the 1 hour 14 minutes that we have juz to choose which compo question to write.. hahax.. finally decided to write "write a story about a person who broke a promise" .. hahax.. wont descirbe my story though.. its kinda predictable.. however.. i'm afraid my story will go out of point.. hahax.. and after the time was up.. i didnt even have time to check tru my essay considering the fact that i havent even finished it.. it would be a mircal if i passed.. but i realised how much mistakes i've made after thinking the story tru my head when i was on the way to central.. i realised i will score betta had i wrote it in pass tense.. its not easy to write a story thats happening on the day itself.. i've made a mental note not to write a story that happening on the day itself anymore.. hahax..

after school we went to central.. with the intention to study.. hahax.. but i hadnt.. i didnt bring stuffs to study.. and i didnt want u guys to be miserable.. hahax.. think u all know what i mean.. so i told them i go ahead.. i went to top up my ex-link card.. but when i was queuing up.. shi hua they all came and tap my shoulders.. i wad kinda shocked why they were still there.. then they like ask me to go.. and i try to convince them with my reasons and why i dont wanna go.. but what they said really touched me.. hahax.. kinda earased part of my "insercureness" that i've been having for the past dunno who many days.. especially what shi hua said.. thanks alot man.! hahax.. i was supposed to write this down on thursday itself.. but didnt have time i write.. later will know why.. in the end they made a curse on me that if i never go to study.. i wil...... dont wanna write it down.. hahax.. kinda disgusting.. hahax.. so i went home and went there again.. only to realised that those who put the curse on me were gone.. there was an extra guy there whom i dont really fancy and worst of all.. the only seat left for me was smack in the front of you.! what the hell right.! hahax.. bth lo.! then dunno why me and hui xin was down there luffing and luffing.. and i dunno what the hell she was lufffing abt also.. and then we were exchanging messages and luffing all the way.. so damn funny.. then you dropped ur book on the floor and i dunno how you managed to drop them.. its so damn funny i had to take a stack of papers to shield my face from you case i burst out luffing again.. and i was exchanging glances with hui xin "behind the scene".. lolx.. then you and hui xin left awhile later.. left me and liwen.. nothing much happened later on.. juz doing some work le.. and we shifted to the front as it was really too damn cold in there.. i just cant stand it.. oh.. i told liwen i might be calling you later..
then home.. i switched on the computer to find out there you were online.. i guess you wont make the move to talk to me.. so i decided to try and put this whole damn thing to an end once and for all.. after that quite fruitful conversation.. which ended something i like this:
me: so i guess you would be talking to me tomorrow..
you: i will try and find topic to talk to you..
me: i hope you wont disappoint me..
you: =)
that second after u kinda end off the conversation.. i had great hopes that you would talk to me the next day.!

friday & saturday:
i kick started the day by waking up damn late.. and arriving in school damn late as well.. hahax.. but not late for sch though.. :) my aim today was to listen to you talking to me for the first time since almost 2 months.. i waited.. and waited.. until recess.. but you havent made the move.. fine.. after recess i waited.. and waited.. the hopes i have had starting to dinimish.. and you still havent made ur move.. me and mun ning were discussing that the best time was prob during practical.. and i agreed.. so i waited.. and i waited.! i almost felt like crying.! but my 8 hrs wait came to nothing.! nothing.! except more disappointment i have already had.. damn sad.. damn angry.. damn disappointed..

the worst thing was for the first practical.. i drew the axis on the wrong side.. i cried.. partly because of my practical.. partly because of you.. perhaps i shouldnt have had too much hopes i nthe first place.. but i tot this was going to end at last.. it turned out to be the total opposite.! haix.. i rushed off to my uncle's wake after that..
he was my mother's brother-in-law.. 50+ yrs old.. mum wanted me to stay there overnight because he only has two children so want us to make the place more crowded.. so me and brother stayed.. xin yi and siblings didnt stay.. :( hahax.. but zeng zhi did.. in case u all forget.. he is the starbucks shuai ge cousin that i have.. hahax.. anyway.. was damn fruitful when i went there.. even though not a nice word to use since my uncle just passed away.. i cant think of any other words to use.. hahax.. this cousin family i have.. we arent very close.. just visit them only once a year every CNY.. and i always tot that two cousins of mine are over 25.. only to realised today that the younger sister was 21.. and the brother was 25.. hahax.. me, my "new" cousin, my mum, my other uncle and starbucks sat down to talk.. talk about favpurtism.. my new cousin is xiu hui or karen.. by the way.. hahax.. imagine i only know my cousin's name at the age of 16.! wow.. amazing right.. anyway.. she says that her mum favour her brother.. and she talked abt alot of stuff.. and the females were sobbing and stuff.. and my uncle gave some really meaningful words.. but all of them smoke.! urgh.! den everytime they smoke i move away.. and i miss some of the conversation.. :( starbucks shuai ge also smoke.. he say he is casual smoke.. but that night he smoke 8 cigrettes.. hahax.. casual.? looks heavy to me though.! hahax..
anyway.. xiu hui has many ang kong.. and i heard her childhood was quite bad.. she quitted school.. and her ang kong is really alot.. and she got many scars on her arms.. some really deep that even needed laser treatment.. i presume she got from gang fights but i didnt question them.. since we've just managed to get some bond.. not wanting to break it just as easily..

and at about midnight.. we sarted playing mahjong.. hahax.. my uncle taught me how to play the "Tai" thingy.. yays.! hahax.. ohleh oleh oleh.! first 6 round i won all.. and i earned about 20 over dollars.! hahax.. den i lost them.. but in the end i still won abt 2 bucks.? lolx.. my uncle swept all the money man.! hahax.. he wont 40.. lolx.. but we also played cards.. hahax.. and my uncle blanja breakfast.. oh ya.. this uncle is starbuck's father.. he's a pro man.! when comes to gambling.. but it was also gambling that made him brankrupt..

saturday morning:
after breakfast went to sleep for a while.. put the chairs together to sleep.. slept for abt 1+ hrs.. then wake it.. wash up.. then it was time for my uncle to "cu bing".. at first when the monk sing the atmosphere was still alright.. then we went to mandai to brun him.. at there.. my aunt keep on crying and shouting my uncle's name.. then all the females were crying.. even my cousin.. my dead uncle's son was crying.. damn sad.. then i was thinking is 20 yrs down the road when my parents pass away.. how am i going to cope.. ppl parents die i also cry until like that.. dunno my parents die i can tahan ma.. haix.. after going back to the funeral place.. i went home le.. was already abt 3 when i sleep.. woke up at 7.. watch some tv.. see my bor play com while then went back to sleep again..

today then wake up.. hahax.. those 2 days i didnt study at all.. haix.. tomorrow is my physics and geog paper.. two heavyweights together.. sure die.. havent touch my geog one but and my physics.. hahax.! i dunno man.. sure die de..

i learnt one impt thing these day though.. its actually a open thing.. but not many ppl practise it.. dont wait until ur parents die then u regret or stuff.. not only ur parents.. but friends and family and whoever.. maybe ur neighbour or anything.. dont live to regret.. treat them nice.. respect them.! and you wont live to regret.!

i got the following paragpragh from my amos' blog.. i think its rwally meaningful so i copied it.. hahax.. sorry.! but its to share some of my thoughts and share this with all my friends out there who dont visit his blog.! it is all written by the man himself.. not copied from any book and i didnt make any amendments.!

The secret to becoming successful in life is to make others around you become successful. Think about it. How bad can you look when many around you attain greatness as a result of your active contribution and help? The worst that can be said about you is that you are a maker of successful individuals. Do not seek to achieve promotion and glamour at the expense of others. Rather, be fanatical about promoting others around you. You will be surprise how desperate people can just to want to know you.

nice right.! hahax.. i have a purpose why i wanted to put this prarahraph in my blog.. first of all.. its to prove to all that mr amos is a wise man.! hahax.. read his friendster testimonials and u can see the support that he has.. a great leader in school.. a great leader in life.. he teaches the book of life.. he doesnt not practise what he preech.. but instead is a person who preeches what he practises.. second.. i think its really meaningful and made me realised that i've been a really selfish person all my life.. and make me wanna change.. last of all.. i wanna "scold" all those who have been like me and hope they would change for the better.!

ok.. many atimes when my friend askes me to teach them a certian question.. especially if its my forte.. like physics of maths.. not saying that i goodi n it.. juz something i better at compared to my other subjects.. hahax.. i feel a sense of achievement.. and i act as though i'm damn good.. hahax.. and i become cocky.. i feel so ahsamed of myself.. the chinese saying " yi shan hai bi yi shan gao" why should i feel so cocky when there is mr amos way up there.. way above me.? hahax.. one should always be humble and share what you know..
when friends ask me how to do a question.. i will teach.. no doubt.. but most of the time, i dont teach them all i know.. i just teach them the basics that i know.. never teach them the shortcuts and the easier way to get to the answer of the problem.. in this competitive world.. this is seen in many.. but if u do what the handful do.. soon you will spread the message and all will be sharing all they have..
imagine this.. if i know of a shortcut and u dont share it.. until one day when u apply it in an exam.. the teacher gives u zero marks.. and u demand an explaination from the teacher.. and u finally realised that u so called shortcut is actually a false one.. what if u had shared it with others.? you wouldnt have lost marks in the exam because when u work together.. you will soon realise that that so called shortcut is actually not so.. agree.?
but if ur shortcut is a right one.. and u share it with others.. others will be thankful of u.. and yoyr behavior might have touched them and they will share their shortcuts with u too.. nevermind those who still selfishly keep their shortcuts to themselves.. dont bother what others think or feel about u.. if u know its right.. just do it (nike).. lolx..
i have many friends who alway tell me they never study never study but always get a distinction.. hahax.. i'm sure many of u have comed acrosee such ppl.. for the record.. i hate them.! but i have to admit that i have been one of such asses before.. but i will change.. what for tell others that u didnt study when u actually did.? so that they will not study and u will emerge champion.? will you feel good about it.? it was because the opposite party didnt study that u emerge top.. what if he/she studied.. would you still have topped.? make some sense.? be proud that u have made effort.. but do not be stupid and believe that u will always be top.. become the top is very easy.. the difficult part is to remain there..

. here i make this promise that i will be proud that i have put in effort.. but i will reamin humble and not look down on others.. i will share my knowledge and give 100% effort to teach when approached.. i will share my shortcuts and will not be jealous that ppl who achieve more and betta results than me.. but i will work towards her/him and be on par with him/her or even exceed him.. and if i do exceed.. i will do my very best that i will try to remain on top..

hopefully u guys will do likewise as i do not wish u guys will follow the footsteps of my past.. but maybe let me lead and u will follow.. or let us all walk this road of life.. together.! i lurve u guys.! :)

8:03 AM