Friday, May 20, 2005
a maths paper..
hmm.. today got back AM1 first thing in the morning.. we went to library.. it was inappropriate place man.! so small.. so few tables.. so many ppl gotta sit on the floor.. poor thing.. hahax.. heng i can sit on chair.. :) paper one i got 58/80.. and mdm diana was the teacher to go tru.. then the room was so noisy lo.! esp my clz boys behind us.. then i dunno how she can manage to continue talking.! urgh.! i cannot hear and she flash the transparencies so fast.! i dunno who can see it lo.!!! the worst thing is its so freakin noisy and she can still teach.!!! how in the world did she manage to do it.!?!? rite then i was predicting the banding thingy.. i would either be in the 1st or 2nd clz.. first clz should be ms tuan.. last clz should be ms soh.. so 2nd clz is mdm diana le.. i really dont wish to get into her clz man.! and hui xin told me everytime her lesson is like that one.. gosh.! they really very ke lian man.. hahax.. one + year le.! poor things.. i know my paper 2 sure do worst than my paper 1 de.. but i was hoping for 50/80..
when go to hall that time i recieve my paper.. i got.. 45/80.. wa sianx.! at that pt was really really super sian.. it is way below my standard.. maths for goodness sake.! its my FORTE.! how did i manage to not get a distinction.?! prob if i know my coordinate geometry betta.. i would get a least a B3.. and not a pathetic B4.. this is as gd as failing the paper.. ok.! yes.! i didnt study.. but then.. the qns are nt THAT tough.! expect for 1 or 2.. so this shouldnt be the results.!!! i'll make it sure it'll be an A i see on my result slip the next time round..
when i first got back my P1.. i was quite Ngry with sodium scored betta than me.. but it lasted for a min.. and i was happy.. happy for her.. and happy for another thing i think u know.. but i'm guilty of even ngry that u scored higher than me in the first place.. i shouldnt even be having such a though.. since we've all set out for the same goal.. i'm sincerely very sorry about it.. and u can sense it la.. at first is i ngry then nvr discuss with u.. then at first ask u ur marks.. prob u didnt hear also.. then lw sitting juz beside me.. of coz i duscuss with her.. so think too much..
after getting back paper 2.. was even more disappointed.. super shi shui zhun.. so juz sit down first at the back since i gt no mistakes.. however i wasnt sad alr when u guys came.. but u all tot i was sad.. and all i did was nt smile.. and nt talk.. and that means i'm sad.. did i write that on my forehead.? i walk to buy my own food becoz i always do that.. u guys were juz oversensitive.. i always do that.. if i were to wait for u all.. the bell would have rang for the next lesson and we would still be standing there.. havent decided on what to eat.. ok.. this is too drama.. but its abt there..
after recess wenta hall for geog mass revision.. u sat down beside me.. courtesy for mun ning.. to an wei wo i though.. and it is so predictable.. u ask "you sad abt ut maths' marks.?" i said no.. and it was the end.. why dont u guys believe me.!? I'M NOT SAD.! but u all dont believe me.!! why i dunno.. all 5 of u.. haix.. maybe normally trick u all too much.. so much so that u guys dun believe me le..
geog got a juz passed.. not bad.. hahax.. nvr study still pass.. hope my ss can pass too.. :) somehow i think my CL might beat my C.H.. hahax.. we'll see.. but so what if i pass all and fail EL.? hahax.. i gt a feeling my compo's gonna fail.! pray hard.! :)
ah wang last episode.. got one phrase vry nice.. lost memoires are a pity.. good memoires are eternal..
somehow i relised how insecure i am.. even after we have reconcilled.. it just goes to show how much i dont understand u.. and how much u dont understand me.. i am unsure of why i will be ngry in the first place.. i am unsure of why u so scared.. i am unsure of so many things.!
after chatting with hui xin.. i felt even more insecure.. she told me some things which i couldnt even guessed happened.. she told me abt some other things too.. and she told me abt her feelings.. and she was sorry during that 2 mnth period.. but i'm glad someone did realised how miserable i was during that 2 mnths.. most believed i was the "ever-so-happy" girl i protrayed.. but thank those above hui xin sensed i wasnt.. someone even told me how sad yw was.. and how happy and normal i was.. i didnt say anything.. what's there to say.? hahax.. these are just friends who are there for the sake for being there.. not those who really know abt u.. those who really understood me.. those who know that certian lies i make.. are white lies.. but if these friends for company wish to think otherwise.. i cant be bothered with explaining things to them.. its not worth my time and energy.. ppl who really know me.. will know who i really am.. why i do somethings.. not trying to be HL.. but i know where my strengths R.. and if so happen that was her weakness.. i will try to make all be happy.. even though deep down inside i didnt feel as gd as the one i seem.. this things oni few will know.. so far i've found 2.. but both i have met with unhappiness b4.. and when met with these conflict.. they dont seem to know what i'm thinking.. really hope we can all work together to achieve betta understanding between us..
tomorrow morning going to indo le.. leaving at 7 in the morning.. hope to put what happened today behind me.. go there and relax.. enjoy the sun.. come back feeling all fresh after a hectic mnth.. hope all those insecureness i was feeling would vanish.. wish me all the luck..
quite sad i wont be able to blog for 3 days.. but i'll be bringing a note book there to note down things that happen everyday.. so be prepared.! tuesday's entry gonna be SUPER long.. hahax.. lw alr told me she's nt going to read.. lolx..
oh ya.. shi hua's book rawks.! already read half.! hahax.. bringing it there to read.! sure complete de.! hahax.!
hmm.. gtg soon le.. tml de things havent pack yet.. hahax.. and everyone's sleeping le.. i sure will disturb them de.. hahax.. sorry ar.! :)
11:54 PM
I <3 MYSELF
kimberly
25.10.89
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ang mohs =D