simplicity;

Thursday, March 23, 2006
i wish..

there's this phrase in brokeback mountain that i've mentioned before.
'i wish i knew how to quit you'

i wish i could say this.
but i dont know if its right to.

u made me cry the previous time u did something that made me feel sad.
i intended not to bother about you anymore.
i intended to give u smth like a cold shoulder.
not that i wont talk to you.
just that i dont do it like i usually do with everyone.
just talk and answer all that's needed for.
but i realised i couldnt do it.

then today u made a remark.
i wasnt sure why u made that remark.
you're the last person on earth i would expect to hear it from.
i always though u were a great person.
everything u did felt right.
i thought u were mature the way u talked.
but this simplre remark from u felt like the most callous one i've ever received.
others have said it before but it didnt hurt as much as urs did.

i'm really confused.
tears start to well up everytime i think about the things you've done that made me sad.
i dont think u know how i feel.
but i myself isnt sure why i feel this way.

sometimes the only thing i can do is to have some alcohol.
at least my mind will be clear of u for awhile.
until the next time i see you.

i used to look forward to seeing you.
now i dont.
i wouldnt say i dread seeing you.
but.
i'm not sure what's the word to use either.

i wish someone understands how i feel.

right now i'll be burrying my head in 'message in a bottle'
at least it'll keep my mind away from the comment u made earlier on.

2:03 AM